So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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