there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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