I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
