The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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