Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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