So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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