did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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