I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
