Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
