I am puke
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
