i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
