Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
