Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
