How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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