haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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