I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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