Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
