oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
