Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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