and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
