And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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