38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
