just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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