Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
