Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
