Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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