if you like me you must not know who I am
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Randomize
