guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
