he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
