My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
