Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
