Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
