you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
