In America we eat man semen.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
