Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
