Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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