I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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