and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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