Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
