why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
