You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
