I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
