I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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