That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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