ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
