garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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