Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
