apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Terrible idea I love it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
