so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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