I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
