Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Life is so much better after having sex.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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