You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The Olympian is in my bed
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