Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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