I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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